Five Things Not To Do At A Jazz Club

Or My Big Annoyances

Last weekend I talked about a show I was at and how some in the audience didn't know what they were getting themselves into. So I was thinking what fun list could I put together for our friends and people who don't know how to conduct themselves at a jazz show. So here's what I came up with it.

1) Talking: Seriously. If you're going to a jazz club 98% of the people there are there because they wanted to see and hear the artist(s) on the bill. They do not want to hear a conversation about someones day other than their own or the artist. It's shows a lot disrespect for the artists, who trust me can hear but choose to zone you out. The rest of the audience can't do that. Talking at a rock concert is accepted only because the music is so loud you have to speak over it (if you need to speak). So if you're at a jazz club and the table next to you won't shut up, feel free to tell them to be quiet. Or always ask the host or wait staff. You paid good money to be there to hear some great music don't let someone spoil it for you.

2) Eating: Now there's nothing wrong with eating at a jazz club. Before it is annoying for other people to hear the clinging & clanging of silverware throughout a performance. The best thing to do is if you really want eat at the club (and there are quite a few that serve good food) is to get there early and try to order at least 45 minutes before the performance. This give you enough time to eat and have that first drink if you like and then you enjoy the rest of the evening.

3) Clapping After Every Solo: No this one is always up for debate. I'm not a big fan of clapping after every solo because it interrupts my own listening experience particularly on a piece that is complexed or very improvised. Also sometimes people are clapping at points in the tune that don't even make sense or aren't even a solo. Like I said this one is debatable but its how feel.

4) Violent Coughing: Now this one doesn't happen often. You usually have this at a play or musical where everyone is so quiet you can hear a pin drop. But every once in awhile you get some one who can't stop coughing but won't get up and go to the bathroom. It's okay, everyone will understand. As a matter of fact everyone insist that the people please go to the bathroom. Trust me this one has happened to me and I've rushed to the bathroom to recover. You'll feel better and will enjoy the show more.

5) Screaming Your Excitement During A Solo: Now don't get me wrong, solos are great and most time pretty awesome. But most times its pretty annoying to have someone all the way in the back of the audience screaming "Yeah!" "Uh Huh!" "Alright!" and whatever else has moved them so spiritually to scream out other descriptive. For me this like screaming "Freebird" at any rock concert. Not sure how much more I have to say about this one.

As always this is just my opinion. If you guys have any funny jazz club annoyances or stories please let us know. I hope these things don't annoy you as much as they do me but either way find a jazz club this weekend and go listen to some music. The artist will thank you. And you will definitely enjoy the experience.